Menjaga Diri

journal

Menjaga Diri

June 01, 2021

Suatu hari saya pergi dengan seorang teman jalan-jalan ke beberapa tempat di Jakarta. Kami makan makanan-makanan enak, minum kopi, nonton bioskop, menikmati malam, dan lain sebagainya. Di tengah perjalanan, saya berdiskusi dengan teman tentang penyakit. Diskusi ini membuat saya berpikir lebih lanjut hingga hari-hari setelahnya. Saya jadi ingin membagikannya melalui tulisan di blog.

Penyakit Fisik

Kalau kita perhatikan orang-orang di sekitar, sering kali kita bisa menemukan orang-orang yang memiliki kecenderungan penyakit tertentu. Misalnya, cenderung mudah darah tinggi, punya risiko gula darah tinggi, kadar kolesterol tubuh gampang naik, dan perut relatif sensitif mudah asam lambung. Penyebabnya bisa macam-macam. Ada yang memang ada faktor genetik, orangtua atau di keluarganya banyak yang memiliki penyakit tersebut. Ada yang faktor luar, dari pola makan, lingkungan, dan lain sebagainya.

Orang-orang yang punya kecenderungan-kecenderungan tersebut tentunya harus lebih menjaga diri. Mulai memperhatikan pola makan, olahraga, tingkat stress, harus minum suplemen tertentu, dan lainnya. Mereka juga harus lebih mengenal, faktor apa saja yang bisa membuat penyakit mereka kumat. Misalnya, kalau ada masalah lambung, mungkin sebaiknya mereka tidak banyak minum kopi atau teh yang tinggi kafein.

Sayangnya, banyak hal-hal yang memicu penyakit itu terlihat seperti kenikmatan. Makan makanan laut yang enak sekali, contohnya. Meskipun enak, makanan itu cukup berbahaya untuk orang yang mudah kolesterol. Kolesterol bisa naik dan membuat orang itu sakit kepala. 

Hal-hal yang kelihatannya enak padahal bisa membawa penyakit itulah yang perlu kita perhatikan. Saya rasa kita perlu persiapan diri untuk mencegah dan mengobati. Kalau punya masalah asam lambung, mungkin harus selalu sedia cemilan, seperti pisang atau permen, dan juga selalu sedia obat lambungnya. Lapar sedikit, bisa langsung memasukkan makanan. Kalau sudah terlanjur sakit, ya mesti istirahat, minum obat, dan makan yang benar.

Ada hal-hal yang perlu dicegah, agar kita tidak mudah kambuh. Ada hal-hal yang perlu dilakukan, agar kita lebih bugar. Ada juga hal-hal yang perlu dilakukan untuk mengobati yang sudah terlanjur sakit. Ketiganya sama penting.

Penyakit Mental

Saya rasa demikian pula dengan kesehatan mental. Ada orang-orang yang punya kecenderungan mengalami masalah kesehatan mental. Bisa dalam bentuk kecemasan, depresi, ketakutan, trauma, dan lain-lain. Bisa karena kondisi lingkungan, fisik, atau pengalaman-pengalaman yang pernah terjadi dalam hidup. 

Saya rasa, sekarang ini masa pandemi juga menjadi kondisi optimal yang bisa membuat orang merasakan perasaan kesepian, kelelahan, dan cemas berlebihan. Nah, kalau sudah ada kecenderungan seperti ini, mungkin kita perlu berlaku lebih lemah lembut terhadap diri sendiri di masa pandemi. It's been hard for everyone.

G.I. Joe Fallacy

Kalau kita sudah tau kecenderungan penyakit yang kita punya, artinya kita punya bekal untuk menjaga diri. Masalahnya begini, apakah kita benar-benar mau menjaga diri sendiri?

Ya kan sudah tau ya, kalau kebanyakan makan seafood bisa bikin kepala pusing, tapi tetap dimakan atau tidak?

Juga mungkin sudah tau, kalau kebanyakan main sosial media, tentu kecemasan dan depresi bisa meningkat. Tetap dilakukan atau tidak?

Aktivitas-aktivitas itu seperti mengundang penyakit ya? Iya. Kan sebenarnya sudah tau ya? Iya. Ya sudah.

Ternyata ada yang namanya G.I. Joe Fallacy, yang maksudnya 'mengetahui suatu hal akan membuat kita bisa mengatasi hal tersebut' adalah gagasan yang salah. Tau saja tidak cukup. Tau tentang suatu hal, bukan berarti kita langsung bisa mengatasi hal tersebut. We need to do the actual hard work.

Tubuh Sehat dan Bugar

Di kelas online Science of Well-Being, saya belajar tentang hal-hal yang bisa melatih kesehatan mental. Ternyata ada beberapa hal yang bisa kita lakukan untuk menjaga kesehatan mental tetap bugar. Beberapa hal tersebut antara lain:

• Memilih hal-hal yang bersifat menambah pengalaman, bukan hal-hal materialistik atau fisik
• Menikmati (savouring) apapun yang sedang kita lakukan 
• Mengekspresikan rasa syukur
• Mengatur ulang titik referensi 
• Menginginkan hal-hal yang baik

Bacaan lebih detail tentang hal ini bisa kamu baca di artikel dalam tautan ini.

Saya rasa kelas online ini adalah salah satu kelas terbaik yang pernah saya ambil. Cukup praktikal, mudah untuk diterapkan ke kegiatan sehari-hari. Walaupun tentu saja semua butuh latihan yang rutin untuk mendapatkan hasil maksimal.

Berada di alam adalah bentuk saya mengobati diri sendiri.

Will you actually do the work?

Sekarang sih ya pertanyaannya balik ke diri sendiri. Apakah kamu benar-benar mau menjaga diri sendiri? Apakah kamu ingin bugar fisik dan mental?

Kalau mau, kamu mungkin sudah tau kamu harus melakukan apa saja. A lot of times, all hard things come through hard work, but you got this. You can do it. Saya berharap, kalau kamu sudah tau punya kecenderungan penyakit tertentu, kamu mau benar-benar menghindari kegiatan-kegiatan yang menyebabkan penyakit tersebut kumat. Baik penyakit fisik, maupun penyakit mental.

Saya pikir, menjaga diri sendiri adalah kado terbaik yang bisa kita berikan ke orang-orang yang juga sayang kepada diri kita.

Saya berharap, kamu dan saya, mau menjaga diri kita masing-masing dengan penuh kasih.


Dengan penuh cinta,
Diny

Christmas Trip to Bell Rock, Sedona

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Christmas Trip to Bell Rock, Sedona

May 23, 2021

Sedona landscape from Bell Rock

Back when I was alone in Flagstaff on winter break 2018. Most of my friends went to their relative's place or travel to other states. I stayed in Flag for the whole winter break. One day, one of my professor invited all Indonesian students (there were five of us) to go hiking with him and his wife on Christmas day. The other girls couldn't make it because they were away, so it was just me, my prof, and his wife. I was very happy and delightful that I can go travel with them.

My professor, Dr. Paul Beier, would like to go hiking trip to Sedona. Of course I liked that idea! I really like Sedona. I think it is one of the prettiest town I ever seen. Some people even said it is one of the most beautiful place on earth. I've been there couple times and I am still amazed with its beauty. The landscape is just amazing. 

Sedona is located in Arizona. It is very close to Flagstaff just about an hour drive. In Sedona, you can find red rocks formation, canyons, cute little shops, and pretty houses. The red rocks intensify the beauty of its landscape. Every where you see, you will see beautiful landscape.

Stacked stones with a view

Capitol Rocks (left) and Cathedral Rocks (right)

Bell Rock Trail

Paul picked me up around 8 am. Then, we went to Sedona right away. We took the 89a road, which is also my favourite route. You can see in this video how pretty the panoramic landscape of the 89a road. It is breath taking route. We drove down hill about 1,300 meters and then we can see the view changing from white sand rock formation to red rocks formation. The trees in between rocks make it even more beautiful.

We made a stop at the Oak Creek Vista Point. I love this one. We can see the scenic canyon. I went there for the first time on Thanksgiving holiday in 2017 with Tyler. Since then, I probably have been there for 3-4 times with different groups. I still enjoy the view from this spot.

View from Oak Creek Vista Point

The Midgley Bridge

Steamboat Rock from the Oak Creek Vista Point

After stopping by at the Oak Creek Vista Point, we went to the Bell Rock trails. It is relatively easy hike, only took about an hour to hike the top. There is a little parking spot just right before the trails. It was pretty packed that day but we got a spot near the trails. We walked to the top of the Bell Rock. The view was amazing. 

Paul is a regular hikers in Sedona. He probably has hiked all the trails there. During the trip that day, we were talking about Sedona, family, research, and many more. He told me the name of rocks that we saw from Bell Rock. I also took a selfie with him on the top of Bell Rock. Looks pretty good!

Trails to the Bell Rock

From Bell Rock Trail, we can see the Courthouse Butte.

After the Bell Rock trail, we went to the Baby Bell Rock just next to the Bell Rock. This one was also pretty. We can see different view of Sedona. We spent another hour in the Baby Bell Rock.

After we had fun in Sedona, we went back to Flagstaff. Drove back home, we ate tasty and fresh oranges that Mary-Ann brought. Mary-Ann is Paul's wife. She is very lovely and warm. 

Then, we went to Paul and Mary Ann's house for lunch. Mary-Ann cooked pasta with artichoke. It was my first artichoke! It tasted delicious. We also ate ice cream and had a drink. Three of us played card game, which I was forgot what was the name of the game, but I do remember the laughed we shared between the games. It was really fun and comforting to spend the day with them.

Playing cards with Paul and Mary-Ann

I also love Paul and Mary Ann's house. They put crystal balls in the windows, so when the sun come through the window. It creates sparkling rainbows all over his house. It was super pretty. I love it so much, that I got crystals for my self right after I came home.

I was happy to spend time with Paul and Mary Ann on Christmas Day. I hope I can see them again someday.

Bell Rock (left) from 

Life is a Gift

journal

Life is a Gift

May 07, 2021

It came across my mind again, couple weeks after my birthday, that life is truly a gift.

Through life, we found meaningful connections. Sometimes we meet those who will inspired us for a long time. Sometimes we meet certain people in a brief, but that person leave marks deeply in our heart. Sometimes we meet people in random places, but end up friends for life.

I used to be easily awe-struck with smart people, but now I think I am more enjoy connecting with kind people. There is something inside kind people's heart. Especially those who speak and act kindly, honestly, respectfully to their self, to others, and to people around them.

Life is a process. For example, apparently, our parents, who we look up for, are not perfect. They are also human with all the imperfection. It isn't easy to accept that they are not perfect. We want them to be perfect, we saw them being perfect and it seems like they knew everything in life. By the time we reached certain age, we realised that they are not perfect. And that's totally okay. We can process our feelings and gradually learn to love them unconditionally, as they love us unconditionally.

Life is vibrant. I am privileged to see beautiful places. I saw pretty things, pretty places. In landscape, in forest, in somebody's ocean blue eyes, and many more. 

In my life, I am surrounded by things I like and things that give me joy. That everything is come to place exactly in the right time. I am in a right place and mind. That things are enough and I am enough. 

Life is a gift. A gift in term of time. We can fix what has been broken. We can learned from our mistakes in the past. We are alive that's why we can be a better version of us.

Life is a gift. A gift to love and loved, by people who truly care about us and we care about them. We have time to give appreciation, affection, and compassion to those people. We can share our happiness, sadness, and all things in life that come up along the way. 

Life is a gift. It gives us space to learn anything we want to learn. We can learn foreign language, new subject, learn about life, or anything we want. We are still living that we may have the resources to learn anything anytime.

The picture in the post inspired me to this note. It is made by a new friend, as a special birthday gift. This picture makes me think about a lot of gifts I have received in life. I finally know what makes me happy and what's important in my life. My life is like that big box in the middle of cute plants. It is growing, surviving, thriving, and improving.

I wish my life can also be a gift to other people. Maybe one day..

Hiking ke Air Terjun Cibereum

travel

Hiking ke Air Terjun Cibereum

April 18, 2021

Mari kita cerita-cerita tentang salah satu jalan-jalan singkat yang saya suka. Sekitar 1,5 tahun lalu di bulan Agustus 2019, saya pergi ke Air Terjun Cibereum bersama seorang teman yang datang dari Amerika.

Kami berdua sama-sama kuliah jurusan kehutanan. Bedanya, saya di Northern Arizona, dia di Yale. Saya pertama kali ketemu dia waktu ikut konferensi di New Mexico, Amerika Serikat. Itu kali pertama saya datang ke konferensi di luar negeri. Saya masih kikuk berjejaring ke para peneliti di sana. Waktu itu, sebagai sesama mahasiswa, kami berkenalan. Ada beberapa orang dari Yale dan kami sempat saling menonton presentasi masing-masing. Seingat saya, kami tidak terlalu banyak ngobol saat itu. Tetapi setahun kemudian, saya pergi ke konferensi di Yale dan sempat ketemu lagi dengan dia dan beberapa teman dari Yale di sana.

Waktu dia mau datang ke Indonesia, dia kontak saya dan teman-teman Indonesia lainnya. Langsung saja saya ajak dia jalan-jalan di sekitaran Jakarta, seperti ke museum atau tempat lainnya. Lalu dia bilang ingin lihat hutan hujan tropis dan kalau bisa jalan-jalan outdoor. Langsung lah saya kasih ide untuk pergi ke Air Terjun Cibereum.

Saya dan teman janjian di Stasiun Tebet jam 6 pagi. Dari situ kami pergi bareng ke Stasiun Bogor. Perjalanan dari Stasiun Tebet ke Stasiun Bogor mungkin sekitar 1,5 jam. Dari Stasiun Bogor, kami naik angkot menuju tempat pangkalan mobil omprengan. Sampai di tempat mobil omprengan, kami menunggu 30 menit sampai akhirnya mobil omprengan jalan jam 9an. Mobil omprengan ini sistemnya memang menunggu sampai penumpang penuh dahulu, baru berangkat.

Macet di pintu tol. Untung teman saya ngga banyak mengeluh, jadi perjalanan ini tetap terasa menyenangkan.

Perjalanan dari Bogor ke Cibereum memakan waktu sekitar 2 jam. Kami sempat ngobrol, tidur, liat kanan kiri, lalu tidur lagi, bangun lagi, belum sampai juga. Perjalanan kali itu memang agak ramai dan macet. Tapi saya pikir, sepertinya perjalanan ke puncak selalu ramai dan macet. Jadi sudahlah dinikmati saja.

Air terjun Cibereum berada di jalur pendakian utama di Taman Nasional Gunung Gede Pangrango. Kawasan ini adalah salah satu kawasan terpenting yang mewakili ekosistem pegunungan Jawa. Lokasinya bersebelahan dengan Kebun Raya Cibodas. Keduanya merupakan kawasan hutan yang paling banyak diteliti di Indonesia, sejak jaman Belanda. Kawasan klasik untuk para biolog belajar, terutama untuk belajar tumbuh-tumbuhan. Banyak peneliti tumbuhan terkemuka melakukan penelitian di sini, seperti Blume, Reinwardt, van Steenis, dan lain sebagainya.

Sebelum kami memulai pendakian, kami lapor diri ke petugas, bayar uang masuk, dan menunjukkan tanda pengenal. Perjalanan kali itu perjalanan santai. Saya dan teman sering berhenti untuk melihat pohon dan hewan-hewan di sekitar. Jalur pendakian pun tergolong mudah untuk didaki oleh siapapun.

Harga tiket masuk wisata di Taman Nasional Gunung Gede Pangrango di bulan Desember 2019.

Ketika kami mendaki, kami mengobrol banyak hal tentang tanaman dan hutan. Di awal jalur pendakian, jalur ini dikelilingi banyak pohon rasamala. Pohon rasamala adalah pohon yang penting bagi ekosistem hutan ini. Pohon rasamala tumbuh sangat tinggi, menempati lapisan yang paling tinggi di hutan ini, atau istilahnya umbrella species. Sebagai spesies payung, pohon rasamala memberikan naungan bagi pohon-pohon lainnya di lapisan bawah hutan dan juga bagi tumbuhan-tumbuhan yang menempel di batangnya.  Di jalur pendakian ini, pohon induk rasamala sudah dipetakan, agar peneliti lebih mudah mengamati pohon tersebut. Pohon yang menyediakan keteduhan bagi pohon-pohon lainnya. Indahnya :)

Kami sempat berhenti berkali-kali. Kami cukup takjub menikmati keindahan hutan hujan tropis ini. Ini adalah salah satu mimpi teman saya, untuk bisa berjalan-jalan dan melihat hutan hujan tropis langsung. Saya tentunya ikut senang menemani perjalanan teman saya ini untuk menikmati salah satu hutan terbaik di Pegunungan Jawa.

Talaga Biru dan vegetasi Taman Nasional Gunung Gede Pangrango

Kami juga sempat berhenti untuk melihat owa jawa (javan gibbon) yang main di pohon sekitar jalur pendakian. Owa jawa adalah hewan primata endemik atau cuma bisa dilihat di Jawa Barat dan Jawa Tengah. Kami sangat beruntung bisa ketemu dan melihat langsung owa jawa siang itu. Owa pertama yang kami lihat ada 1 owa dewasa yang sedang menggendong anaknya. Ngga lama kemudian, ada satu owa dewasa lagi yang main di sekitar. Owa itu ikut memperhatikan kami sambil makan daun-daun muda di pohon. Ah, such a blissful afternoon. Kami berhenti sekitar 10 menit, lalu melanjutkan perjalanan.

Kami berhenti lagi karena kami melihat sekawanan kelompok owa jawa yang berloncat-loncatan di pepohonan. Mungkin ada sekitar 10-15 owa di kelompok itu. Mereka berloncatan, makan, mencari kutu satu sama lain, dan main bersama. Wah, saya senang sekali dapat melihat pemandangan ini. Kami mengambil banyak foto dan video. Kamera saya tidak bisa ambil foto jarak jauh, jadi gambar owa hanya selintasan saja. Tidak masalah, toh kami sangat menikmati momen itu.

Setelah selesai melihat owa, kami melanjutkan perjalanan. Kami berhenti sejenak di Telaga Biru. Di sana ada penjual makanan, tempat istirahat, dan tempat berkemah. Saya dan teman foto-foto sebentar, cuci muka dengan air sungai yang sejuk itu, lalu melanjutkan perjalanan.

Bunga Terompet adalah salah satu pohon invasif yang ada di Taman Nasional Gunung Gede Pangrango.

Sayangnya jalur pendakian sudah banyak yang rusak.

Kami sampai di Air Terjun Cibereum sekitar jam 12an. Di sana ada 3 air terjun. Sebelum main air, kami memutuskan untuk makan siang dahulu. Di saat-saat seperti itu, tentu saja kami makan pop mie dan minum kopi. Enak!

Makan siang pakai Pop Mie. Nyamnyam.

Teman saya bawa baju ganti dan memang sudah niat mau mandi di air terjun. Saya cuma ingin main air di pinggirannya saja. Seru sekali main di air terjun! Waktu itu, Air Terjun Cibereum juga ngga terlalu ramai jadi kita bisa santai-santai dengan nyaman.

 

Main air di Air Terjun Cibereum

Kami main air sekitar 1,5 jam lalu memutuskan untuk kembali pulang. Sampai di gerbang luar sekitar jam 3. Kami kembali lapor diri, istirahat sebentar, ke kamar mandi, baru turun ke tempat angkot.

Perjalanan pulang relatif panjang karena macet terus-terusan, ngga tau karena apa. I think Puncak just being the Puncak dengan segala kemacetannya. Kami sampai Jakarta sekitar jam 6 lalu langsung menuju Stasiun Tebet. Sampai di Jakarta, kami makan masakan padang di Rumah Makan Merdeka. Kami makan macam-macam jenis makanan, tapi dia paling suka rendang dan perkedel. Ini kali pertama teman saya makan masakan padang dan dia suka sekali! Yay! 

Selesai makan, kami saling pamit. Seru sekali main bersama teman di tempat-tempat outdoor. Sampai berjumpa lagi kawan!

Diny

Hiking santai di Prescott

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Hiking santai di Prescott

April 09, 2021

Halo halo, 

Berawal dari ngobrol-ngobrol bareng Niken, teman saya yang juga seorang Blogger, saya jadi ingin belajar menulis cerita perjalanan deh. Kali ini saya mau cerita waktu saya jalan-jalan sekitar bulan Maret 2019. Waktu itu saya lagi liburan musim semi (spring break) yang cuma satu minggu dan saya habiskan semuanya untuk jalan-jalan bareng teman-teman.

Saat liburan musim semi waktu itu, saya dan seorang teman sekampus memutuskan untuk jalan-jalan hiking dan camping bareng. Teman saya ini orang Amerika dan sudah lebih lama tinggal di Flagstaff dibanding saya. Dia mengusulkan untuk pergi hiking dan camping ke Prescott. Jujur kalau diajakin camping begini, saya jarang googling sendiri. Langsung aja ayo berangkat! hahaha

Pagi itu sangat spesial. Saya bangun pagi, sarapan roti bakar, lalu duduk-duduk santai di meja makan. Ngga lama kemudian, ada sekawanan rusa yang mampir ke belakang rumah. Kira-kira ada sekitar 8-10 rusa. Rusa-rusa itu minum dan makan di belakang rumah sekitar 30 menit-an. Pemandangan yang cantik sekali.

Kelihatan ngga rusanya? Di belakang pagar. Foto ini saya ambil dari depan pintu belakang rumah.

Teman saya jemput sekitar jam 9, lalu kami siap-siap dan berangkat dari rumah saya sekitar jam 10. Perjalanan dari Flagstaff ke Prescott sekitar 1 jam. Teman saya ini bawa mobil, jadi lebih gampang untuk menuju ke sana. Sepanjang perjalanan kami ngobrol banyak. Kami mendengarkan albumnya Red Hot Chili Peppers dan nyanyi-nyanyi bareng.

Perjalanan dari Flagstaff ke Prescott sangat menyenangkan. Pemandangan di kanan kiri jalan yang tadinya dipenuhi oleh pinus, perlahan berganti menjadi pohon cemara (Juniper sp.) dan oak (Quercus sp.). Flagstaff berada di ketinggian sekitar 2.100 mdpl, sedangkan Prescott agak turun di ketinggian 1.600 mdpl. Perbedaan ketinggian ini lah yang membuat vegetasi di sekitar juga berubah.

Prescott pertama kali 'ditemukan' sekitar tahun 1864. Waktu itu Prescott adalah ibukota provinsi Arizona, sampai akhirnya 1889 ibukota Prescott dipindahkan ke Phoenix. Kalau dilihat dari pusat kota (downtown), Prescott terlihat seperti kota tua klasik Amerika yang biasa dilihat di film-film.

Sayang banget saya ngga banyak foto di downtown, tapi kira-kira begini bentuk kotanya.

Sampai di Prescott, sekitar jam 11, kami makan siang di taman di kawasan Yapavai County Courthouse atau gedung pengadilan daerah. Kami makan sandwich, yang kami siapkan dari Flagstaff, di bangku yang ada di taman itu. Taman di tengah kota Prescott nyaman sekali. Banyak orang tua, kakek nenek yang sedang jalan-jalan sama keluarga sambil jalan-jalan bersama anjingnya. Rumputnya juga empuk buat didudukin. 

Gedung Pengadilan

Habis makan siang, kami keliling downtown yang relatif kecil itu. Kami masuk ke toko-toko lucu. Ada satu bangunan yang terdiri dari beberapa toko dan semuanya sangat menarik. Di dalamnya ada toko bumbu yang punya segala macam bumbu dari segala penjuru dunia, namanya Spice Traveller. Toko ini jual bumbu campuran, berbagai acar, saus, dan selai yang dibuat homemade. Teman saya akhirnya beli satu bumbu cajun.

Di dalam gedung itu juga ada juga toko yang jual berbagai jenis minyak zaitun dan cuka, namanya Olive U Naturally. Saya baru tau kalau minyak zaitun bisa punya berbagai rasa dan sungguh enak dimakan pakai roti tawar. Roti tawar, dicocol ke minyak zaitun berbagai rasa. Ya begitu kira-kira. Ini pengalaman baru yang sangat unik buat saya. Si teman saya juga akhirnya jajan satu botol kecil minyak zaitun untuk salad.

Masih di toko yang sama, ada yang jual pernak-pernik suvenir, toko cokelat fudge, toko kopi dan gelato, juga ada toko seni di lantai atas. Gelato dan kopinya enak. Toko seninya juga seru dan bagus-bagus.

Selesai dari gedung itu, kami sempat keliling lalu akhirnya mampir ke toko buku. Saya beli mug souvenir untuk dosen pembimbing saya dan beli buku diary. Buku diary ini buku favorit saya karena cover dan kertasnya bagus sekali. Saya juga beli tattoo tempelan yang lucu. Hahaha.

Tato-tatoan yang saya dan teman serumah saya pakai.

Baru setelah selesai eksplorasi downtown, kami pergi ke jalur hiking.

Nama jalur hikingnya adalah Constellation Trail. Teman saya bilang, dia suka tempat hiking ini karena lanskapnya mirip dengan lanskap Joshua Tree National Park. Waktu itu saya belum pernah ke sana dan ngga kebayang bentuknya sepertinya apa. Sebelum berangkat pun saya ngga cari tau dulu. Jadi benar-benar ngga kebayang.

Kami mulai hiking sekitar jam 4. Ternyata tempat hiking ini unik, seperti out of space. Tempatnya banyak batu-batu besar. Jalur hiking-nya sudah ditandai, kita tinggal mengikuti jalur yang sudah ada saja.  

Jalur masuk Constellation Trail yang saya foto dari tempat parkir.

Bebatuan di Constellation Trails

Saya suka dengan jalur hiking ini, karena pemandangan batu nan lucu ini baru pertama kali saya lihat. Di sana ada beberapa tempat wall climbing juga kelihatannya sulit. Kami hiking sekitar satu dua jam. Lalu memutuskan untuk cari tempat camping di sekitar tempat hiking itu. Saya sih ngga tau ya di sana sebenarnya boleh camping atau ngga, karena kelihatannya ngga ada orang lain yang camping di situ. Cuma, saya mengikuti saran warlok (warga lokal - teman saya itu) aja hahaha yaudah ngga ambil pusing.

Oiya! Setelah hiking beberapa lama, saya baru sadar ternyata Constellation Trail adalah memorial sebuah kecelakaan pesawat. Dulu sekitar tahun 1959 ada sebuah pesawat terbang yang jatuh tepat di lokasi ini. Semua penumpang meninggal. Lalu, keluarga para korban membuat tempat hiking dan tempat memorial di kawasan ini. Ada pecahan-pecahan pesawat yang sengaja ditaruh di situ sebagai tempat untuk mengingat kejadian.

Jujur, sebagai warga Indonesia yang terbiasa mendengar cerita seram. Saya yakin banget kalau tempat ini pasti banyak hantunya kalau di Indonesia. Jelas-jelas ini tempat bekas kecelakaan, ya kan? Sudah pasti banyak hantunya. Tapi saya kan ngga tau ya konsep cerita hantu di Amerika gimana dan teman saya pun tenang-tenang aja. Gimana dong? Jadi saya sok berani aja. Haahhhh.

Habis hiking sampai sekitar jam 5an, kami balik ke mobil untuk ambil tenda, sleeping bags, dan gitar. Kami cari tempat buat camping di antara bebatuan yang relatif agak ke dalam dan ngga terlalu dekat dengan jalur hiking. Tempat camping-nya enak karena datar, tanahnya kayak batu-batu yang halus banget. Rasanya kayak tidur di atas karpet.

Setelah selesai buat tenda, kami naik ke atas batu besar untuk menikmati senja. Ini salah satu senja terbaik yang pernah saya lihat. Warnanya jingga dan merah muda. Rasanya.. Saya bisa istirahat dari pikiran saya yang sedang kelabu dan pusing tujuh keliling. Waktu itu juga minggu pertama saya memutuskan untuk ngga pakai jilbab lagi. 

Sambil menikmati senja, saya berpikir tentang betapa besar priviledge-nya hidup saya sehingga saya bisa mengambil keputusan itu. Bahwa saya sekarang bisa mengambil keputusan besar untuk diri sendiri. I was on my own but was never alone. Bahwa sesulit apapun hidup, ternyata kita masih bisa menemukan momen-momen sederhana yang indah dan menenangkan. Momen itu mengingatkan saya bahwa hidup bukan hitam putih, bukan biner, tetapi penuh warna yang kadang ngga pernah bisa diduga.

Senja dari Prescott

Setelah malam datang, saya kebanyakan di dalam tenda aja. Tentunya, sudah was wes wos mikirin di sini hantunya kayak gimana. Teman saya, yang bule itu, malah nyanyi-nyanyi kencang pakai gitar. Saya cuma bisa mikirin, ini para hantu kalau keberisikan gimana ya? Haaaahh monangis.

Saya sempatin keluar tenda untuk foto bintang, yang tentunya gagal karena saya ngga tau cara foto bintang. Saya juga foto tenda kami, yang tentunya juga blur kemana-kemana. Yaudah lah ya yang penting ada fotonya.

Tenda

Langitnya bagus sekali banyak bintangnya, sayang saya belum bisa foto bintang

Malam itu, walau saya kepikiran hantu terus, untungnya saya bisa tidur dengan pulas sampai pagi. Fiuh. Cuaca juga ngga terlalu dingin. Sleeping bag yang kami pakai relatif cukup tebal untuk membuat tidur kami nyaman.

Paginya, kami loncat-loncatan di batu. Well, bukan saya yang loncat-loncat, karena saya penakut. Teman saya loncat-loncatan di antara batu. Saya nonton saja. Setelah sarapan dan beres-beres, kami melanjutkan perjalanan ke tempat berikutnya.

Kami pergi ke tempat hiking berikutnya yaitu Granite Garden Parks. Tempat ini ngga jauh dari tempat hiking pertama. Granite Garden Parks kayaknya relatif kecil, tapi jalur hiking nya dibuat mutar-mutar biar pengunjung bisa keliling lokasi. Jalurnya juga menarik banget, ditandai dengan spot-spot di batuan. Rasanya seperti di Blues Clues yang cari jejak. Hahaha. 

Granite Garden Park

Jalur hiking

Di tempat hiking ke dua, ada beberapa jalur manjat wall climbing, tempat duduk, dan bangunan bekas tambang yang sudah tidak terpakai. Hari itu panas banget sih. Untung kami bawa banyak banget air minum, jadi ngga kehausan. Oiya, saya juga ngga mandi itu dua hari, saking Prescott udaranya kering, saya ngga merasa keringetan.

Bangunan bekas tambang.

Habis dari tempat hiking kedua, kami main ke Watson Lake yang juga dekat. Watson Lake indah sekali!

Watson Lake, Prescott

Baru deh kami pulang. Seru juga perjalanan hiking dan camping singkat di Prescott. Cuma satu jam dari Flagstaff, gratis, dan nyaman pula. Senangnya!

A new decade

birthday - journal

A new decade

April 06, 2021

Oh, hello new decade!

Hello readers,

It is my birthday today. This time is a bit different than other year. I am 30 years old now. I am entering a new decade.

I've been thinking, what kind of a person I want to become in the next 10 years. I think it is important to have it in mind, so I don't waste my life without any plan. I am not sure this plan will stick for the next 10 years, at least I am trying. I am not even sure I will still live for a long long time. The possibility of dying and living is always the same. 

Life is very uncertain and full of possibilities. Things can change in a very short time, but also can not change for a long long time. These uncertainties, makes me want to live my current life fully, but also makes me want to have a general plan for the future. I remember one saying that the only certain in life is uncertainties. 

So, here it is..

I want to be able to fully forgive my self.

I made a couple of terrible decisions. I made unfavourable decisions usually when I was mad or angry but couldn't express my anger in a healthy way. Sometimes it still bites when I remember those decisions. I hate that I made some decisions based on my wounds.

I can see why I made those decisions and I can understand the reasons behind all decisions. It most likely was the best I can do at that time. 

If I live for longer time, I want to fully forgive my self. Forgiving all the imperfections and decisions I made in the past. This journey of forgiving my self have started around last year. I believe what I can do now is to remember and make sure I will not making the same mistakes in the future. I don't want to make any decisions when I am mad. I want to run my life based on love, not based on trauma or pain. 

I want to savour joy

I am an easy go lucky person. I can be happy for small things. I am happy seeing blue skies or random flowers in a park. I can be happy with my garden, my tiny library, and my blue house. Paradoxically, sometimes I feel bad for being happy. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. It's weird.

I know joy will not come all the time. Like any other feelings, joy is temporary. That is why I want to savour all the temporary joy that I have in the present time. I want to practice picturing memory, so I can remember it when I am in the dark place. 

Savouring each moment I am happy around plants and flowers.

I want to take my writing time more intentionally and consistently.

Writing has been very important for my healing and growing. I want to take more time to this special practice. I write in many places. In my diary, blogs, social media, phone, and random papers. I really like that part of me. I want to continue practicing writing and have a better writing habits.

I think it will be cool to try learning other kind of writings. Writing for media, opinions, travel blogs, or popular science articles. I want to explore that and see what will happen.

I want to be more open, honest, and brave

I read a great book called Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. I really like the whole premises in that book. Being vulnerable is very important. I cannot be honest to my self if I am not brave enough to be vulnerable. I think, it makes me more Diny. 

I showed up in difficult times in my past life. I want to do that as well in the future. Showing up has been helpful for my present time.

I also think, by being open and honest, I respect my self better. People can see me as a person, a human, that is not always perfect. Really, perfection is boring. 

"Perfectionism is exhausting because hustling is exhausting. It’s a never-ending performance." - Brené Brown

I learned it mainly from my dear friend. He is really good at it and I really like that part him. It inspires me to be more honest at least with my self. I want that in me. 

I want to keep connecting with people

I like this part of me. I enjoy being connected to people. I like sharing my life with people I met along the way and people who cares about me. I think people has pretty cool stories and by connecting with each other, we can create a better world.

Human is never supposed to be alone. When we lived in a cave back then, we are not supposed to be alone. We are part of community. Back then, alone means dying, still the same with right now.

I believe, connecting with people makes my life more enjoyable.

I want to be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially

Obviously, anyone can do anything in this world if they can be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. It all requires hard work and self discipline. I want that. 

I want to have a better self awareness and mindfulness. I want to have a comfortable life where I have enough savings for emergency fund and pension fund. I want to have a place of my own. It doesn't have to be big. I want a small blue house. I want to be able to travel the world. I don't know how, but I will find a way.

I want to have a better ability to identify, embrace, and address emotions and needs. I want to have that as my super powers.

It is hard to build a healthy habits.

I want to nurture my relationships with my close circles

I really value my personal relationship with my close circles. I hope I can nurture it intentionally. I want to show up in their difficult times. I want to love them better. I want to listen to their stories. I want them to know that I love and care about them. I care abut their stories, their struggles and happy times, and all.

I know I can only show up to an extent of my limitations. I know I won't be able to always be there. Sometimes, I probably hate what they do. Other times, I may not able to be around them or I may not know what to do that it makes them hate me. There will be those moments. But if they still want me to be part of their life, I want to be there for them. That's the only thing I can do to respect their love for me.

I want to respect my boundaries and other people's boundaries

People need boundaries. I need boundaries. I may not always know right away my boundaries, but I will learn it as I go. If I already know my boundaries, I hope I can respect my self enough to hold on those boundaries.

I want to respect other people who says no to me. Sometimes, it is hard because we want what we want. But I want to try to respect it more intentionally.

I want to learn to deep listening

I like talking. I like talking about my self. I often find it hard to listen because I tend to speak more. So, I want to learn to listen more. I want to learn to listen with an open mind and heart. I don't have to speak all the time or tell everyone about my self. I don't have to always explain about my self, not everyone need to hear my random stories. It is really hard for me to listen. I hope I can gradually master this skill.

***

I think that is all I can think of right now. It may change gradually or maybe not. It is just an overall goals.

Have a fulfilling life a head, Diny! and happy birthday!

with love,

Diny

Things I learned about my self during COVID pandemic

journal

Things I learned about my self during COVID pandemic

April 06, 2021

A pretty sunset from my home.

It has been more than a year in pandemic. I would say I learned a lot about my self during these long tiring hard times. I believe a lot of people feel the same thing. We are pushed into a weird time of our lives that give us time to sit with ourself.

I listed down some things I learned about my self on the first three months of pandemic and I wrote another list a year after pandemic. I thought I will share my a-year-after-pandemic list, so, here it is..

1. I love life! <3 
2. I am capable of rebuilding my life even during pandemic.
3. Building a healthy sleeping pattern is super hard.
4. I enjoy learning and relearning.
5. Gardening still makes me happy, so does exercising.
6. When I am physically and mentally healthy, I feel like I can do anything.
7. Everyone is more stressful and lonelier during pandemic. I am not alone.
8. I truly value social connection. I want to build a deeper and meaningful relationship with my inner circles.
9. Joy can be find in little things in life.
10. Even though it is hard, I am capable of slowly forgive my self and others who have hurt me in the past. It can take a long time to process it but it is doable. 
11. When I got COVID early this year, I thought about death quite often. I think I've been enjoying my life, and people that I love knows that I love them. I think it is okay if I die, but I really want to live.
12. I dislike online grocery shopping.
13. I wonder if I have take time to properly grief that the world before pandemic may not come back. It is and will be a new world out there.
14. Sometimes I feel lonely. I feel lonely more often during pandemic, but who doesn't?? 
15. Pandemic is hard for everyone but we are all sailing with different boats.
16. I am very grateful for my family's and friends' health.
17. I am attached to my phone. I might be addicted to my phone in a non-healthy way. Phone and social media have become the main distractions of my regular life during pandemic.
18. I am tired of these whole pandemic protocols. I still follow the rules, but it doesn't mean I like it.
19. I like testing my boundaries.
20. When I am comfortable of being vulnerable, I tend to be more open, honest, and respect my self and others. I want to put more intention on those things.

That is all for now.

Wish you all have a healthy and happy life.

hugs,

Diny

A Working Project

journal

A Working Project

March 20, 2021

I saw this picture last week and felt triggered. It is so true that I make my self as a never ending project. For the last year, I have been focusing on healing and improving my self. I wanna be a better person and all those stuff. 

Whenever I feel triggered, I spent some time to reflect why I feel triggered? Where is that come from? And think on how to heal it? 

But then, it feels like it is never ends. There are always personal condition that I need to work on. There are scars that I need to heal. I am so sick of healing, can I just healed, soon? Is that even a thing?

Or maybe it is called healing because it is a continuous activity. There is no healed, there is only healing. Because it is always a process? Is there any finish line? The finish line probably is when we dead, yea? So, as long as we live, we can live?

If I always wanna improve things, is that means I am not accepting my self? Is that means I don't feel enough?

I talked to a friend about it, she also had similar condition. She told me that healing and improving will take a lot of energy. Where do you get those energies from? Don't you feel tired at all?

But, maybe life is a never ending project? Maybe we will work on it as long as we live?

And it is okay to take a break sometimes. I mean, it is good if you wanna keep improving, but also it is okay to take a break? I mean, for real, right? It is a never ending project but we can take a break whenever we want or when we feel tired. And then start again whenever we want, right?

Maybe, it is also okay to wanna make improvement all the time? Maybe that is just me being me? And that should be fine?

If I am just me, will it be enough?

Maybe because we are human, then it means we are not a project? We are not a never ending project, because we are not a project in the first place. Then, it is okay to just be, without levelling up?

Am I a project or a human?

I am most likely more to a human than a project. So it means, it is fine to just be the current version of me without have an urge to be a better human? Maybe that is okay?

Who is the one who has the right to answer those questions? Probably just me, right? Because it is my life..(?)

So, if I say..

It is okay to just be

It is okay to not improving

It is okay to be just me

just a Diny.

That is probably more than enough, right?

Oh dear, I need to sleep.

Processing My Feelings During COVID19

COVID19

Processing My Feelings During COVID19

February 21, 2021

A morning view from my room at the Emergency COVID Hospital in Jakarta

I was sick for weeks. I had COVID19.

I don't really know where I caught it, because obviously contact tracing of COVID in Indonesia was so bad. I might caught it in public transport. I still use train and MRT for work or use Gojek to go to some places. Of course, I mostly maintained health protocols. But I wasn't always 100% careful. Sometimes I was reckless and in denial. I eat at some restaurants, I saw some of my friends and family, and I went grocery shopping.

For the past years, I rarely sick. So, when I had a fever, I thought about COVID right away. I had fever for 3 days. My body felt sore and dizzy. I took paracetamol to reduce the fever. I drink plenty of water to help my body hydrated. It works, the fever was gone on the 4th day.

I sleep a lot on the first days of COVID. I slept for at least an hour after I took medicine during the day. I woke up couple times at night. My body sweaty all the time. I remember one night I was shivering because my clothes were all wet due to my sweat.

The test

I took a PCR test on the 4th day, got the result the next day. It said I tested positive for COVID. Right away, I texted my coworkers, family, friends, told my neighbours, and updated the news through my social media. I was panic, confused, and sad. I called my VVIPs. I want them to stay calm even though it was hard to stay calm, but we were all trying.

People started sending me foods, medicine, and comforting words. I was a bit overwhelmed. It was interesting that a big part of my healing was learning to receive help without fear of being seen as a burden. Like hey it's okay people just wanna help, feel the love. Once again, I learned to ask for help and receive help.

A picture I sent to my family during COVID quarantined.

The grief

Of course there was a grief when I knew I had COVID. At some point in the last 2 weeks, I didn't take care of my self. That is probably why I caught COVID. I had sleeping and eating problems in the last month. I didn't exercise much for the last 3-4 months. It was sad that I didn't take care of myself even though I'm in the middle of pandemic.

I also felt terrible and upset that I was sick. I was sick and I made my close circles worried about me. I don't like feeling like a burden. But then, I realised, they were worry and check on me because they care and they love me, not because I am a burden. I tried my best to do my part. I let them know what I know, keep them updated as much as I can. I also learned to let them do their part of taking care of me.

I felt angry. I kept asking, why me? Why I got COVID? I was mostly at home. I didn't go out of town. I've stoped doing almost all my sources of happiness. I didn't go to gym. I stoped swimming this year. I didn't go to the mall. I love meeting people but I've stopped meeting people. There are a lot of people out there didn't care about COVID, but they are still healthy. They didn't have COVID, so why me? I tried to sit to those feelings. I knew it was a phase of grieving and I need to feel those to overcome the phase.

I probably angry for 2 days. Then, the feelings changed into sadness and scared. I thought about scary stories of COVID. There are a lot of people who were fine and healthy, then died in a blink. What if I died? What if I make my family sad because I died, which is obviously they will be sad. Have I do what I wanted to do in life? Have I told people how much I love and care about them? Do I owe people something? You know, all of those thoughts. But then, I realised for the last year I've tried to be mindful to all of my relationships. I thought, even if I died, I will be rest in peace because I know, people that I love, knew that I love them. I have nothing to lose.

After sadness, I felt lonely. It was so weird. A lot of friends and family reached me out, sent gifts, and sent warm words. I surrounded by nurses and fellow COVID patients. But still, it was a lonely experience. And I never like loneliness. I never used to it. I think loneliness is like a deep hole. If I fell, it will be hard to go out of the hole. This one particular feeling, I didn't want to feel it.

I tried to find distractions. I called friends everyday and talked to everyone I met in the hospital. Until one day, a new friend, fellow COVID patient, told me he felt very lonely as well. And then I realised this loneliness is quite common for COVID patient. I suddenly feel like I am not alone in this. It might feels like I am alone at the hospital, but that wasn't true. My family and friends were still out there thinking about me. I gathered new friends at the hospital to fight COVID together, share stories, and support each other. I tried to believe, just like any other feelings, I can survive this, I can bear with it, and it will eventually pass.

Rainy days.

Coming back stronger

I started feeling hopeful and energised when my body feels better. Probably on day-8 or 9. My chest pain, short breath, and nausea were gone. I felt healthier. I started enjoying my stay at the hospital. I talked to almost everyone I met in the elevator. I joined aerobics group. I did a karaoke night. I maintained connection with roommates. I tried whatever things I can think of to feel better, physically and mentally.

A quote, 'one day at a time', works for me. I am glad I am back feeling happy and healthy. My family is healthy as well. I know this is a huge bless. I can't thankful enough for their health and constant love.

COVID pandemic is still going on and may last for I don't know how long. There are a lot of things I cannot control out there and it is sucks. Life is very short. It can change drastically. Thus, I want to enjoy and savour what I have right now because everything is temporary. This health, body, family, friends, money, and all are temporary. I can lose it all in a second. But in the same time, those temporary things are also the beauty of life.

I wish you all for your happiness and health.

Love,

Diny